Communion was POWERFUL today. Grown men were standing up, speaking of how God had sustained them through struggles. There was no pride in any of their words. They weren’t praying for the sake of it. I didn’t get a “look at me” vibe. All I saw was complete awe at the grace displayed to them by their Saviour. I sat there, my eyes brimming with tears as I considered how Gods been sustaining me. I’m only 17 – at least 20 years younger, if not more, than half the people speaking out but in that moment, I felt like I identified with every single one of them. One man spoke of his great love for his children and I thought of the future children I may come to love. Another man, his voice wavering, talked about how he had fallen many times and experienced a tough week and even though I could hear the pain in his voice, there wasn’t an ounce of resentment in his words.  He simply admired God for bringing him through it. I feel challenged by what I saw and heard. The atmosphere was undeniable – every person in that room had something troubling their hearts and still, they displayed nothing but thankfulness. I found myself praying for everyone in the room – and with everything going on, I’ve only been praying for myself lately. I acknowledged that yes, I may be suffering but how bad do I REALLY have it? I’m not bed ridden. I’m not in the absolute pits of despair. I’m not contemplating death.  I’m able to function pretty much as I was before. I’m INCREDIBLY blessed. I’ve lost some and gained much. Despite the many nights I’ve cried to God and expressed my sadness at all that has happened, I have a lot to look forward too. I think I’ll feel a void for a while, but eventually, I won’t notice because God will have replaced what once filled it.

Please let that day come soon, Lord. I’m being as strong as I can and as faithful as I can. Grant me peace. Grant me happiness. Grant me love. Amen.