Caught in the CrossFire

Ever since I started this blog and writing in my quiet times, I’ve felt increasingly drawn to writing. It’s one of those things I’ve always loved but don’t make enough time for in my life! I do think every now and then, “Is writing my path… a true talent that God wishes to nurture?” but then I chicken out of REALLY considering it because then I wouldn’t have a clue where I’m going.  I’ve wanted to do Midwifery for so many years but lately, I haven’t felt like it’s my true calling. I don’t feel the same about it anymore. As I let go of that idea for my future, writing becomes more obvious. I shouldn’t feel ashamed to recognise a possible gift that God wishes to use for his Glory but I am terrified of getting it wrong. Part of me feels like writing is far too obvious a choice – I enjoy it and I’m pretty good at English, but so what? Then it hit me. God gives us passions for a reason. When we do a little soul searching, he usually shows us this in full effect.

 So, I’m just back from a quiet time where I prayed to God for ages about this. I want to obey him, and for some reason, I feel like I’m choosing what I want for my future – not what God wants. I had finished prayer and was flicking through my journal and in a little scribble, I wrote “1^st Timothy Ch4: V 12” on its own. I recognised the verse! But I thought I’d look it up anyways… and what did I find?

The picture above pretty much sums it up. I never realised I’d looked beyond that verse and clear as day, I had highlighted “Do not neglect your gift.”

I felt right at that moment God had spoken to me and I was actually speechless. I had been speaking to him out loud and REALLY felt his presence. And then he reveals this to me! I’m overwhelmed right now. I definitely think I need to re-evaluate the plans I had for myself and go by what God seems to be telling me. My verse for the day fitted my situation perfectly too:

“Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my saviour and my hope is in you all day long” – Psalm Ch25: v4-5

That’s exactly what I had been doing in my quiet time. I was seeking guidance and I needed God to give me some direction, but I hadn’t been letting him until today! The days seem to be flying by and I thought I had it all sussed but in reality, I’ve been worrying about it way too much. Probably because God was telling me to consult him. I’m so sooo glad I did! I feel like I’ve been given the guidance I need to feel confident about my future.

Isn’t God amazing! He always speaks when you least expect it! That probably means we expect too little – something to think about, for me anyway.