Caught in the CrossFire

I’ve been put through a small trial these past two days. Well, I certainly didn’t see it like that as I was going through it. I thought it was just a series of unfortunate events that God was happy to let unfold but now I’m on the other side - I can see Gods purpose in it. I was struggling with a lot of anxiety and despite feeling calm when with a friend, as soon as I was left to my own devices, I stumbled. In the heat of things, I forgot that God was there to listen. I forgot that he may even have a plan in it all. Now, I can definitely see that purpose unfolding.

 I think that we need small trials and obstacles to keep us alert in our faith. I was lashing out at my boyfriend in a lot of ways when all I really had to do was pour it all out to God. Girls have this weird need to feel validated – we need to feel as though we have a right to be upset sometimes, which makes it so hard for us to swallow our pride and simply confide in God instead of others. It’s the decision I COULD have made, yet didn’t.

 However, despite that mistake, everything turned out perfectly fine. My anxiety was settled and I could see things for what they were, which is a work of God. I went from praying for peace in how the situation had happened to THANKING God for opening my eyes. I’ve been enjoying reconnecting with God and I know he’s pleased I’ve made that step in my life. But that optimism blinded me to the hard work it takes to equip myself in dealing with a world that rejects God and as a result, rejects me sometimes. It’s been amazing reconnecting with God but I’m comfortable in my faith now. God’s pushing me a bit further in light of that, and is reminding me of the effort that being his servant requires. I think he used my relationship to demonstrate this to me. No wonder God blessed me with an incredibly patient boyfriend – I wasn’t myself this week, and he dealt with it like I knew I could rely on him too!

I’ve learnt that it’s great to rejoice in my relationship with God but I have to also use it as my armour. I can experience Gods love when I receive blessings, but his love is even more so present when I feel like things aren’t going my way. I did find a verse that reminds me of this lesson, and although it doesn’t talk about faith as such, it’s exactly what I think God was teaching me to do –

“Be sober; be vigilant for your adversary, the devil, walketh about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” – 1^st Peter Ch5: v8

It may not be the most uplifting verse but prayer in its self uplifts me. I felt drawn to this verse which led me to believe God was reminding me of the importance of awareness. As rocky as the last few days have been, it’s all worth it when God speaks and assures you that it’s all in his grand scheme of things.

Expressing love and joy is required of all Christians in whatever way they feel is most true to themselves and their relationship with God. As said before, both arise from being confident in your faith and converting that confidence into praise and thankfulness.  The most fundamental difference between Christians and non Christians, in my belief, is Peace. Christians have a sense of peace that’s unlike any other feeling in the world. It isn’t the kind of peace that is fleeting although that’s what it may feel like sometimes. It stays with us through the most difficult of times and when we’re lost and doubting ourselves, we can always draw strength from God to set our hearts at ease. My most favourite verse in the world makes a reference to Peace:

“I have told you these things so you may have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John Ch16: v33

Having peace in God stops us from worrying about insignificant things on earth. God is bigger than any struggle or obstacle we ever face and as his children we can take heart in the fact that he is our Almighty Saviour. We rest safe in the knowledge that we can never be defeated, or so broken that we lose our faith in God completely. He simply won’t allow it! Sometimes, I forget just how powerful God is and I let myself become swept up in things that I don’t think he can control. But God assures me, that although I will face troubles, he has already surpassed any enemy I’ll ever face! Earthly worries are so pointless when placed beside the might of the Lord.

It’s impossible to never worry though.  After all, I’m human and face stress and worries like any other person on earth! Sometimes I feel like I’m heading for something I’m not prepared  for (exams!) and the thought of facing it is, quite frankly, terrifying.  The only thing I’ve ever known to combat feeling overwhelmed is to lay it all out in God’s hands. To cast all my cares upon him because I know that he hears my worries and fears and seeks to encourage me! Sometimes, God will send me into the thick of things to show me that I am actually capable if I trust in him. Other times, he’ll help me avoid costly situations and I end up feeling thankful that I wasn’t thrown in head first. Regardless, my peace in the Lord endeavours. He’s given me no reason to feel otherwise.

This world is like a Rubix Cube in God’s hands. Half the time, we have no idea why it’s so confusing and makes us so stressed! But don’t lose hope because God’s got it sussed. Let him take your worries away and make you at peace with the world and at peace with him.

1 Peter Ch5: v7 – “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.”