Caught in the CrossFire

Yanno what the most comforting and awesome thing is about my faith? NO ONE is beyond redemption. I’ve always known this – to deny it would go against a lot of what I believe. But I’ve been reading 1^st Timothy (literally at a snail’s pace) and I’ve had to consider it a lot deeper. In Chapter One, I’ve been reading about how people such as “murderers, adulterers, perverts etc.” (v9-10) can receive Salvation if they truly repent to their wrong doings and “conforms to the glorious gospel of the blessed God.” (v11) This list goes from extremes to relatively common sins, which we all do, such as lying.

When I actually read words like “murderer”, it really hit home to me. I’m aware this is an aspect of Christianity that can be pretty controversial but that’s because we view things so differently from God. If I see a news story about some deranged killer, of course, I’m furious! And those kinds of emotions stick with you. I could forgive a friend for lying but murder? That would be a no. I’d love to get to that point eventually but to forgive them so readily?  Without a little help from God, it just wouldn’t be in my human capabilities. Even then, it’s a stretch. In all honesty, I find this a very difficult thing to accept about my faith sometimes, and I’m not ashamed to admit that. I can’t be as gracious as God and I sure as heck can’t be as accepting of others who have caused such harm in choices they’ve made. I WISH I could but that’s something that I’ll never have unless I allow God to change those sides of me.

As depressing as it may seem though, I can’t help but think this is supposed to be an uplifting passage! It lists sins of such a magnitude yet still reminds us that if brought to God, he’ll accept us with open arms. NO sin is so huge, so atrocious, that God will reject you. It may seem like the worst possible thing you could ever do but Gods pretty much like “Chill bro, make amends with me”.  In Gods eyes, his children don’t deserve to be bound by the mistakes of their past. But flip, we can be stubborn and he’s STILL willing to take us onboard. And that, considering how deeply flawed and weak I am in practising unconditional forgiveness is a wonderful thing.

And here’s what really got my brain cells going! The passage even states that the law was written for the “unholy and irreligious”, which means people who reject and even insult God, have a book written FOR them regardless. It makes sense. I mean, how can anyone make a decision unless their informed? For me, that’s what the Bibles here for. It draws you to belief in God through its truths and sustains you throughout the rest of your life in LIVING this decision daily.

I suppose the main message I’d encourage anyone, especially myself, to take from these few verses is that NO ONE is more or less entitled to God’s word and his grace. As sinners, we were all doomed to the same fate. As Christians, we can all share in the same Joy. In reality, we can never look upon anyone in judgement without evaluating ourselves. We may not be en route to prison on earth with the choices we make but that doesn’t mean our eternity’s looking any brighter. We’d be imprisoned forever had it not been for such a merciful Saviour.

I’ve been having an amazing time spending time with God these last few days! I looked at my posts so far and I never thought I’d stick at it! It’s been incredible though because I’ve been learning a lot this past week after finally getting back on track with God after what feels like an eternity! I’ve grown more confident in my abilities. I didn’t think I’d be able to sustain even a week of constant prayer, quiet times and blogging. I think I made a point of testing myself to see if I would choose to write a few words as the week progressed, to avoid an endless reel of paragraphs that took both a lot of time and effort! but suprisingly, I’ve really enjoyed it, and I’ve never felt so happy in my faith! I’m at a point now where I’m becoming comfortable in my quiet times and writing more, which means I won’t feel the need to type EVERYTHING all the time. It was invaluable that I did in the beginning because this blog has been a source of motivation to continue learning and i still feel inspired every morning to set aside some time for God, then get all my thoughts out in a post in the evening! I feel regenerated when I read my posts and see an evident change in my approach to God. I’m suddenly willing to work, and face harsh truths about myself in order to grow. I actually see the need to find relevant verses, see their meaning and how they relate to MY life. Everytime I sit down to type, I’m speaking to myself and tuning in to parts of me that need special attention. I’m so thankful to God for opening my eyes!

I know that soon, some morning, I’ll wake up and maybe not feel like this. I’ve had trickles of it already. But I’m going to try and roll with the ups and downs of my walk with God and break through them. If I’m not feeling it one day, it doesn’t mean I can’t an hour later with a little prayer and faith.

I’ve been going crazy on the Christian music scene since I started this blog and discovered a group called MercyMe. I haven’t found a single song that hasn’t stirred me in some way or at least got my foot tapping! I would definetly recommend them to anyone like me, who needs Gods presence daily to keep her from distraction! Make a playlist, stick them on shuffle, and TRY to zone out of Facebook every few moments for a listen :D